We call it "Desertification, the Pony of Patina"

[Desert Patina]

I've gotten help from y'all on this car for a few months now. But I haven't yet told the story...

Back in July I underwent a triple surgery which amounts to the human equivalent of porting and polishing the intake manifolds of a car. It wasn't dire, but we figured that my life would be better in the long run if we did and the insurance company agreed. So along with being under the knife, came narcotics because this surgery is notoriously painful for weeks.


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I'm not bragging or asking for sympathy ... its just that I think the influence of narcotics is probably important to this story. And the reason for the narcotics needs to be briefly understood. Because the day before the fourth of July, I decided the narcotics were giving me a big headache and I wanted rid of them, ibuprofen seemed to me like a pleasant clean pasture calling my name rather than the hammer mill I had been going through. And cutting off that medicine made the next day a wondrous spiritual journey. But this story isn't about that day, it's about the next.

On Craigslist was a car being sold by a local (and I mean within about 2 miles local) pick-a-part. I had actually been given tipped off by the local Mustang Shop who had at one point two years ago sold a rather decent SVO for a rather decent price, and never took the add down. As the son of the owner brought me up to date on the add, he noted that he had been given a tip that another SVO was coming to the junk yard, and he was passing on it. But he figured the price would be great.


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And after a month of waiting and two weeks of stalking it patiently and from a distance by refreshing the Craigslist add, I decided I had to have it. I could have it for pocket change, really. What could possibly go wrong? Sure they said it didn't turn over, but for sitting for ten years I wouldn't expect it to. Probably a fuel pump, and that is easy to fix. Double the price, even triple it with parts and labor and it would still be worth it.


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So I made the purchase, all the while my wife pleased that I was showing some life and action again. We had it towed to the local you-fix-it that is now changing its name to we-fix-it because only 5% of its business is actually done by the owners working on their own cars. It was there we took the pictures in this post.


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... to be continued ...

[MikeFleming]

I like these kinds of stories!

[SVOC]

Oh yummy here we go!

This looks like it could be some fun!!

[Desert Patina]

I can't describe to you the elation I felt is I saw this handsome car, distinguished by the loving gentle hand of mother nature herself, being towed to the u-(or we)-fix-it center. There it was, on a pedestal above the rest of the traffic. Unable to go on its own power it was carried lovingly with a majesty and reverence in full view of the public in respect of the hardship it has gone through. Its a scene of admiration that wouldn't be equaled until the Space Shuttle Endeavor flew overhead recently.

This was my car, not someone else's. With my rose colored glasses squarely in place, it looked identical to the pony leaping on the front cover of Road and Track was my first sight of an SVO so many years ago.


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Dazed by the withdrawals, and weak from a great deal of blood loss I negotiated the care of this car with the professionals. They would take care of it.

It took a few weeks, and I was getting the impression that my car was the canyon-red painted stepchild over there, but to be honest I didn't mind. Sure my feelings could get hurt over such a small thing, but then I thought of all the daily drivers that roll through that shop. It isn't a restoration shop, or a performance house, its just a place where they rescue people every day. I would make the same decision too.


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But they did make some progress. They found what looked like a perfect cubic cake of rust in the ECU relay. I saw what they found, and will try to give a faithful reproduction later. Yet it would still be a while to see if anything else was broken.

But like Samson growing back his hair, in time my strength also was picking up. I was getting antsy to drive it, and ready to offer that I do the work myself when they called me for a change...

"Hello"

"You're calling me, this must be good news or really bad news"

"It's good news. We've gotten your car to start".

"Really? What was it?"

"We changed the ECU relay, and had one person tapping on the fuel pump, and it started up!"

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Elated I had them change the fuel pumps, and wash out the fuel tank for good measure. But that is when I realized that not only was my car an indication I was still stuck in the 80's, but so were my expectations on the price. It came out to being three times as much as I anticipated, but that was my fault. They were actually cheaper than most of the other places for the same procedure, and they performed the work very well. I just didn't realize how much that kind of work costs these days.

It ran, briefly, but it still didn't have legs. In a 50 point check of the underbelly of the car, they let me know I would need to severely overhaul the brake system and replace the front wheel bearings. There were steering components to replace, and the tires had large cracks in them from sitting for so long without any air pressure.

... and replace the torque dampers on the engine!

Seeing the opportunity to save myself some money, I took the opportunity to do the work myself.

(to be continued)

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[MikeFleming]

Ah Ha! The old "tap on the fuel pumps" trick. I should have known.

[Bob Holmes]

A fine fine trick. Also used for recalcitrant starters...

[MikeFleming]

.. and window lift motors...

[SVOC]

........ Teenagers that need a little encouragement :mad:

[Bob Holmes]

........ Teenagers that need a little encouragement :mad:

Oh lord, LMAO. Now I have to clean tequila off the keyboard.

[MikeFleming]

Now I have to clean tequila off the keyboard. Now easier than ever! Just unplug it, take it to the sink, rinse with water, tap dry and plug it back in!

Kensington Washable USB/PS2 Keyboard with Antimicrobial Protection

http://www.amazon.com/Kensington-Washable-Keyboard-Antimicrobial-Protection/dp/B0029HPSNG

( available in white or back )

[Desert Patina]

Unfortunately this post will have to have pictures at a later time, which grieves me greatly.

However, the story must go on.

When we last left our distinguished steed, it had a heart beat but was crippled (the engine worked, but the wheels and brakes were not road worthy). It needed new calipers, rotors, wheel bearings, brake lines, and master cylinder.

I saw the estimate of the rest of the work, and feeling a bit of my former strength coming back (from the sticker shock as well as the previous month's surgery) I figured it was time I took matters into my own hands. I did what anyone would do, I posted an all points bulletin for help on the Internet.

I spent hours reviewing internet posts and Rock Auto parts, trying my best to figure out what would work and what wouldn't. I echoed that post here and on other forums, and talked about it to the point I was reasonably confident in what I bought.

I also asked for help if anyone could spend a few hours. By my estimate, I had 12 hours of work ahead of me to do in 5 hours. By another's estimate I had 40 hours to do!

Fortunately my brother announced he was coming into town. We have a sort of running joke between us. Whenever I go to his house he says, "great I have plenty of yard work to do". So now that he was visiting me I got to say the magic words, "great I have plenty of car work to do". And lucky for me he was up to it.

So armed with parts I could only verify as best I could on the internet, and a helper who used to punish me in unspeakable ways as a child (did I mention he was my older brother?), I set my plan in motion. At noon, I was going to pick him up, go to the shop, and we would work on everything as fast as we could.

Only, when noon rolled around I was still at the DMV getting a temporary registration. And after I picked up my brother we decided to help out Chik Fil-A only to find the line going out the door and the parking lot to be like the I-405 freeway at rush hour. When we got there, it took another half hour or so for them to get the car ready for us to work on it.

Still, when all was said and done we accomplished the mission except for bleeding the brakes and having forgotten to put the dust cover on the spindles. And for that they still wound up charging us 1/3 of the same price they quoted earlier.

They called, it was ready to roll. And that will have to be a story for another day.

[ChrisCurtin]

So armed with parts I could only verify as best I could on the internet, and a helper who used to punish me in unspeakable ways as a child (did I mention he was my older brother?), I set my plan in motion. At noon, I was going to pick him up, go to the shop, and we would work on everything as fast as we could.



That is great. I feel the same way about my older brother.

[MikeFleming]

BTW - You can get your temp permits (in Arizona) on-line at www.servicearizona.com (http://www.servicearizona.com). You'll need the VIN and $1.00 via CC for a three day. And a printer.

[TheSVOTrust]

Love your writing! Please tell me you went to In-Out burger instead.

Mark

P.S. Also know that Chic Fil "A" is the canadian line after leaving TD's!

[Desert Patina]

No, we wound up getting $5 gyros at a spot very close to the fix it center. it was the national support Chik Fil-A day, and they seemed to have plenty of support.

Thanks for the tip on the permits.

I should add I have three older brothers, between 5-10 years older than me.

thanks all!

[MikeFleming]

I should add I have three older brothers, between 5-10 years older than me. So you were often beat up as a kid?

That explains a lot (about the SVO fascination)

[Desert Patina]

As time heals all wounds, so does the change in season seem to make one forget the pounding of the heat leaving one with warm memories of days gone by.

So as winter comes, its finally time to tell the story of my first drive with the Pony of Patina.

I had dressed in my nice clothes, but I'm not sure why. I suppose I wasn't expecting to drive the SVO so soon. But early in the morning I got the call that everything we couldn't get done in our whirl wind garage session was now done. The brakes were bled (which they charged a surprising amount of labor for), and the dust cover replaced. I had since learned that was optional, but I learned that just a bit too late.

My wife, still encouraging and supportive, drove me to pick it up. There it was sitting out in the open on a typical day in the peak of an Arizona summer. To say it was hot outside is something that might make people think of sweat and a bit of discomfort.

But it is something to be experienced to be really understood. Where the heat feels like the sun tatooing your whole skin beat read with pelting radioactive particles for ink. And your very will to live can evaporate as quickly as any water left in your body. You don't walk through heat like that as much as you swim through it, like burning hot cream of wheat.

The only place hotter than outside at a time like this is inside a car. People literally bake cookies on their dashboards as if they are ovens. http://www.wikihow.com/Bake-Cookies-on-Your-Car-Dashboard We have a sun oven here and we can verify that it gets above 350 degrees. We could bake bread, not just cookies, or roast beef if we wanted to.

So just after noon, I retrieve my keys and replace the battery on the car, and drive off.

I can't actually put my hands on the steering wheel, so I pat it like a hot potato. But it doesn't have power steering so I do a combination of quick squeezing and turning, followed by a lot of blowing on my hands. Instantly sweat is pouring into my eyes, and onto my clothing. I can't exactly see for all the stinging in my eyes. Even within a block to return some unused parts to NAPA, I'm soaked and smell like an auto-parts store. That is one baked interior.

All I really want to do is hear that turbo sing the sweet siren song, but the streets don't give me that opportunity. I go from NAPA to a gas station where I'm able to use the paper towels set out for washing windows to quickly wipe my eyes and get some relief in the shade. By comparison, I might have just walked into the freezer at a grocery store after being in that car. I had discovered that only one window rolls down (thank the lucky stars), and there is no such thing as an air system remaining in the car.

I look around to see that people are avoiding eye contact with me, but can't help but wonder what I'm doing walking around to get some kind of air circulation and shaking the sweat off my arms, having emerged from a car that looks like it was rescued from a junkyard ... all dressed in fine corporate wear. Actually the story seems obvious, but nothing flattering I'm afraid.

Still, to me it is a handsome car, and I quickly make it to the freeway where the wind starts blowing in my hair, and the turbo starts its dainty little song. I step on the gas and 1 .... 2 .... 3 .... whooosh! I've never had a car where the last 3/4 of the throttle was so meaningful.

I take notes on how solid it feels, but where it may need some more work. The steering wheel has a bit of play (the mechanics did mention the inner tie rods needed replacing), and what is this? The lower dash piece is kicking on my shins.

Someone had cut a hole in a discrete corner below the steering wheel and put a small switch for some reason.

Wait a minute ... small switch ... heater box completely removed behind the dash .... I think this is all starting to add up.

Which reminds me of my black friday shopping trip to the U-Pick-It junkyard where we were looking for a replacement heater box.

A car had all four of its tires slashed off. Someone cut off the treads at the firewalls very cleanly. Inside, attached to the rim inside the tire was a circular box that wrapped around the wheel. My first thought? They wanted gun-proof tires of course. Then the person with me pointed out a second reason which made much more sense ... but oddly would make bullet proof tires even more useful.

But I digress, I don't think the SVO's previous owner had that in mind.

Eventually I got the car home, feeling more pleased than I ever have with anything but my own children and wife. Under the hood, however, lay a problem that would soon return it to its stationary rusting slumber...

[baltimucho]

Nice prose. How about more pics? :p

[TheSVOTrust]

Love it !

Only mistake is not making your wife drive it to NAPA !! haha

Mark
P.S. And the "paid guys" missing the bad rag joint !
http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e136/svo2scj/photo66_zps6d1b03ae.jpg

[Desert Patina]

I'm happy to report that this is now officially licensed and on the road. Pictures and more of the story to come (including such feats as driving with no brakes! and needling through government bureaucracy).

[Patrick]

I'm happy to report that this is now officially licensed and on the road. Pictures and more of the story to come (including such feats as driving with no brakes! and needling through government bureaucracy).

Sounds like a feature article.

[dagenham]

The steering coupler looks very familiar. I couldn't figure out at first why my steering was sooooooooo sloppy until I looked real close. Replaced with the rubber type from HELP!. I don't think the polyurethane ones were such a good idea.